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Dwelling on the past or struggling with pursuits that, at least for the moment, are futile, rob you of precious time.

Acceptance may take determination, but is worth the effort.

Acceptance has allowed me the freedom to be who I truly am: A strong woman blessed with many people, including four other adult children, to love and share my life with.

Recently, a parent told me she had reconciled with an estranged adult child after nearly two decades of estrangement. Like she did, you can live your life now—-—-and still hold out hope for a future reconciliation.

Done With The Crying is available through popular booksellers. Take the confidential, 8-question survey to help parents of estranged adult children. To share with others, provide a link to the page where the content is found.

I arrived at the office earlier than my boss this morning. Looking to the future with a positive focus promotes the well-known attitude of gratitude that’s so helpful. I look forward to my favorite television show tonight. Perhaps you blame other people who are involved with your adult children. Forgiving freely, without requiring an act of contrition, (such as an apology or admission), was particularly beneficial.

Holding one’s forgiveness hostage to some act or condition was associated with psychological distress and symptoms of depression. Accepting the reality of an adult child’s abandonment, and your helplessness to change it, may feel like letting go of hope.

It’s helpful to reach out to a trusted, empathetic friend or two, but whether you can or can’t confide in others, don’t deny your feelings exist. Some common feelings of rejected parents include: *Guilt: I must not have raised my child right. *Helplessness: How can he/she refuse to take my call? ” Called “ruminating,” this sort of negative thinking spurs more negative thought, perhaps even calling to mind the other things that “always happen.” Clinical studies have linked ruminating to high blood pressure and to unhealthy behaviors such as binge drinking and overeating, so steer clear. Turn your statements and questions around with positive thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking negatively about your adult child or the situation, notice your physical body as well. In short, the way we think about things can reduce our physical stress response Take a few deep breaths, loosen up or even get up and move around. Do something to aid your physical body and health as well as positively altering your thoughts.