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We all want someone to set the tone and follow along, instead of realizing that we’re always setting the tone ourselves.I realize that I’ve gone on a bit of a tangent from your original question, Dwayne, but this is important.

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See if you are guilty of doing any of the following. ” The crux of most email exchanges is taking something the other person did and saying, “Me, too”! ” Who would a woman rather go out with – the boring lunkhead who asks for her number before he’s had a chance to charm her, or the witty guy whose every email she anticipates with delight? And studies show that confidence and humor are the two most desirable qualities in both men AND women.

Dear X (1) I just read your profile (2) and thought it was really great (3). Anyway, check out my profile (6) and see if you like what you read (7). There’s nothing wrong with a “Me, too” email, but how is someone supposed to respond? ” Establishing commonality is often a symbol of trying too hard to sell yourself. So instead of playing the blame game and pointing fingers at people who take a long time to email, or say nothing interesting, or write only one line, step up and try a little harder yourself.

I also thought you were cute (4) and loved the fact that you go hiking with your brothers every summer. If you want to know anything more about me, just ask. 6) You sound creepy if you don’t warm it up with a signature. You may be shocked how those same people become a lot more interested and interesting when you give them more to work with.

This probably sounds incredibly nitpicky, but it’s not. I’ve got two techniques for writing first emails that I describe in Finding the One Online.

I seem to run into this a lot and haven’t seen this addressed.