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The solution: Have really tough conversations very early in a marriage Men are likely to feel successful if a marriage starts with assumptions that are realistic.

I've dated countless women and it has always amazed me how little they know about men.

Here’s the problem men have today: They understand how bad it feels to be raised by a dad who is never around. And the men who choose work all the time are largely disrespected as incompetent parents.

There’s a generation of boys who didn’t eat dinner with their dad. Changed schools five times so their dad could relocate to get the best job, over and over again. If they try to do a little of both, they are not particular standouts in either.

Here’s the bottom line for men: Few will be big earners. The midlife crisis for men is that they are sandwiched between social expectations that they be involved as fathers on one side, and the financial pressures from a disappearing middle class on the other.