Dating a stupid girl


Bella asks Jacob what he was doing to Edward earlier, when he was–wait, seriously?

One reason is because their profile reads like a boring, dating profile shaped turd. I thought I would throw some keywords that would describe what I like to do.

Not exactly the most proactive character we’ve ever seen. Charlie is smug because he thinks they’re still fighting. But they’re totally not werewolf soulmates or anything. The reason Bella shouldn’t become a vampire is because . Bella, because she is an enormous idiot, refuses to sleep on the bed, and curls up on the couch in “defiance.” You know what else is defiant? The first time he changed, he was missing for a week, he was so freaked out. When he came back and wouldn’t tell anyone what had happened, they all figured it was just a or something. Sam was dating Leah Clearwater at the time, who we really haven’t heard anything about before this, but now that we know she was dating a man she is suddenly important. Some little part of me recognized that I was throwing a Charlie-esque fit, but that rational part was greatly overshadowed by the irrational part. She finally calms the crap down and we get back to our story.

Bella sort of brings up that someone was in her house yesterday and all the vamps are spooked, which means Edward takes the phone and he and Jacob have a Male Bonding Moment over how best to protect their clumsy, useless, mutual love interest. She serves absolutely no purpose but to drive the plot. For those of you at home playing “Severe Character Dysfunction Bingo,” you can count the two of those as freebies. Posted in Eclipse, Recap with tags awkward, bella is an idiot, bella needs medication, can we just cuddle, how convenient, immortal werewolves, injuns, invisible werewolves, jacob is freaking awesome, leah should be more awesome, quote, samentology, symptoms of abuse, telepathic werewolves, the quilbry, we're werewolf soulmates on July 22, 2009 by Rachel Vampirely, but I still feel compelled to keep the douchebag at a hearty 6. Because apparently there is a lot more to it than just “sometimes? When Sam hit werewolf puberty, he couldn’t tell Leah what was happening, because uhhhh well because some old people told him not to. It is here we have an aside where Jacob drops the fact that he isn’t aging. As long as he keeps turning into a wolf, he won’t age. As luck would have it, Leah’s cousin Emily came visiting from another res and Sam imprinted on her.

” will have to continue later, because Edward has arrived.

u r so pretty Edward, faster than anyone can see him, runs up to Bella’s room, and then back downstairs.

I know you guys are on the edge of your seats here.